Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain

Its Monday again D: Don't seem to like any days of the weeks. ==
Forgot to bring tie & collar badge :/ Had maths class test today. i better get full marks if not i will fall into depression ? Becos someone else got it.
Had pe today. extremely exhausted. == 8rounds the car park, 6rounds up the stairs.
Hair was like messy like hell. == Hopefully there isnt any body aches tml.
3periods of boring chua lao shi chinese lesson after that. Can die, almost fell asleep.
Followed by form teacher's period. No assembly today. ;x
Went to point after sch, with yujia & jyelin. ate mac & yujia wanted to do her poa but played taidi with us in the end. :x
Huiqi, kelly, melissa & waner came shortly after that. Left around 4.30.
Met dear before poa tuition. Didn't manage to concentrate during the tuition after meeting him. Hais.

zzz. Don't feel good these few days. :/
i'm getting more &more paranoid. sighs.

im so sorry if those words i said hurt u.. but they seem meaningless to you. Learn, learn learn.
i love you too much already & i hated the time u play lan.
its becos, i never wanted u to forget me at anytime.
am i too selfish ? hais. you must have hated me plenty though u have never said that.
i still cannot believe the answers you gave me before i left. ):
&not forgetting the sms u sent, it was like u don't know me at all.
I know, you wanted to cheer me up because u think its ur fault or ur responsibility to do so.
But I'm really upset. I donnoe why, i cant seem to face u without a smile.
Past few night, i've been crying myself to sleep, telling myself that i shouldn't care so much already.
Comforting myself that its ok, its alright to have a bf that love playing lan.
Its just that the images of you being addicted to lan just keeps coming to my mind.
words fall on deaf ears. sighs.
Can someone tell me, am i wrong ? ):