Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this !! ):
why am i allowing my eyes to tear so much ? how can i... ): hais.
i really have tried not to bother about him playing lan. but i really cant.. ):
guys should just get lan as ur girlfriends. give it all ur time, love & care.
why bother about apologies ?
with gf by your side, think abt lan game ? yes.
play lan, forget everything ? yes. well, cant expect them to rmb ?
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))));
It steals attention, energy, bf-s & maybe money.
stupid lan. i rather u dont accompany me than playing lan can ?
i might just lose my sanity. ); there were many things to say but i guess its impossible to do so anymore as walls/distance starts building.
when everything becomes nothing. when words become lies.
hais. this is rubbish & useless rantings so do ignore.