Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain

Both of us woke up at 11am. lol. when we said we meet at 11.30. lol
Decided to meet outside school as it was already past 11.30. wore sch uniform. :x
Upon reaching, i went in sch first as dear haven't reach & that he wont be able to go in sch wearing outside clothes. i wanted him to wear school uniform becos i wont get a chance to see him wear it this year already. reminisce ma..
At the end, didn't get to take IC D; it wasn't ready yet.
Changed out of school uniform & he called. he was rather angry cos i didn't wait for him outside school ?, that he wore school uniform(sorry, i had no idea u were going to wear that.) when i already changed out of it. D; & that he have to bring outside clothes, outside shoes in a bag.
but im glad he wore it anyway ^^. he was slightly moody but smiled int the end (: & changed at hougang point & we took 159 to amk hub.
mrt-ed to jurong mrt station to collect cookies bought online. (: its quite nice, 18(2 packs- 1heart 1normal) of chocolate chip cookies.
Dear didn't know why i wanted to go jurong east, who i was going to meet, for wad purpose & so on. lol. he was like a small little kid, who wanted to alight at causeway point to go walk walk. lol.
before alighting at jurong, i told him that i was meeting a girl & was going to buy something from her. he was so funny & cute. he said - ' u treat me as body guard ar ? do u noe that girl anot ?' & sth like ' is it safe ? ' lol (:
he wanted me to meet her somewhere that he is able to see. lol. (i think he want to see mei-nui D; ) lol. but in the end he didn't get to see so he didn't noe wad i bought.
On the train to orchard, he inquisitively guess & asked wad did i buy as i said it was something for him. lol ?
ok, we quarrelled over the cookies but was slightly alright after that. D; i started it first. couldn't accept that he didn't like cookies DDD; im sorry.
we wasn't paying any attention on wad stop it was == & we missed the orchard stop D; lol.
so took to Somerset & back to orchard (: lol so funny.
ate brunch @ far east. i was soooo hungry D; couldn't open the pack of cookies so didn't eat till i reached mos burger :x
went to take my pay cheque while dear waited outside (: saw both manager tgt ! ;D (:
cut open the bag of cookies & offered them (:
walked to the mrt & was accompanied home.
Reached home at 5 at the end, 1 hr late. Reason on why i can go out today is because i had to take my pay cheque personally, was supposed to collect IC & cookies (:

11/12/07.
i shall summarise on wad my parents said about us(dear & i)

1. they objected to us being tgt for now as im still young, schooling. (as usual)
   that i should not have a one-to-one relationship(BGR). they wanted me to know more friends instead of committing myself to him for now. & that i might meet someone better than him
   i thought to myself that having a bf doesn't mean i wont be to make more friends ? but on the meeting-someone-better case, i have nothing to say as it isnt the future yet right ? nevertheless, i still hope that wont happen. yes, i might meet someone better but its about whether i still love him(guohao) anot or i want to be with him because he's(that someone better) rich, much much more handsome or whichsoever.
2. they are afraid that i wont do well for my exams because of this BGR.
   that i will regret being in this relationship too early.
3. afraid that something might go wrong. etc, being a wife with baby at the age of 18. lol ?
   i think this is quite impossible as i trust myself & him on this. He knows what i want & he agrees on it too. (:

im very glad dad say this & mom the second point.

• 'next year, if u can prove that you can do well in ur studies/Nlvls, u can slowly bring that guy home(meet parents) & slowly introduce to ur cousins/family.'
  i seriously have never thought of that, not that prepared yet. maybe 3years down the road (: (after his poly, when there's lesser rubbish quarrels, & perhaps with my better results )
• 'I am sure he's a good boy(from wad i told her) but im also sure he also wants to have accomplishments first & concentrate on his studies.'

Hope all these aint lies.
For now, i wont break up with him or do anything stupid with this relationship..
In the next 1year, many things might happen.. but i just hope u will understand if i cant accompany u for long & that nothing will go wrong.
understandings are needed. sorry if this is pressurising you in one way or another.
Me: 'Be with me till the very end, will you ?'
Him: 'i will be with u till the end'
Me: '...(: '
i must/will produce good Nlvl/test results so as i dont have to meet dear secretly :x (:


sorry for the long post (:
i will keep whatever i have written in today's post in my mind. if not, my thoughts can be taken as rubbish.
sorry for suspecting but i think you are hiding something from me DDDDD; i shouldn't be wrong i guess. D;


i will save the last dance for u, & this is the road to the last dance (: